A few high profile cases that get a lot of attention can make parents and carers worried about the safety of their children. There are a couple of important points that we all need to remember:

• Most children are abused by people they already know. Abuse by strangers is much less common, even though it gets a lot of attention in the media.
• Children need the freedom to learn. Growing up and learning does involve allowing children to develop. This means that there will need to be some properly assessed risks that they will face. If we wrap our children up in cotton wool and never let them develop their own life experiences, their social and educational development will be impaired.

The Dundee CYPPC recommends a couple of websites that have excellent information about keeping children safe.

• www.direct.gov.uk is the UK government's information portal. Clicking on 'PARENTS' on the home page takes you to a huge range of useful information, including advice on keeping your children safe from abuse.
• www.kidscape.org.uk/parents/ is the website of Kidscape, a charity set up to prevent bullying and sexual abuse.

The CYPPC agrees with the advice given on this UK government site

Simply talking to your child may be your first step in keeping them safe from child abuse. You are more likely to discover any threat to your child's safety if you have an open and trusting relationship with them.

Here are a few things you could talk about with your child:

• your child has the right to be safe - reassure your child that they will not be punished if they say they feel unsafe or threatened in any way by any person (including family members)
• the truth will always be believed - encourage your child to tell you if anything is making them feel uncomfortable, confused or scared (children rarely lie about abuse)
• their body is their own - talk to your child about the areas that should be covered (swimsuit areas) and encourage them to tell you if anyone tries to go beyond these boundaries
• say 'no' - children often think they have to do whatever an adult tells them to, particularly if they have been made to hug or kiss adults when they don't want to
• some secrets should never be kept - since abusers and bullies often say 'it's our secret' or even threaten the safety of other family members, tell your child that secrets like that should never be kept
• reassure your child that no harm will come to them or their loved ones if they tell the truth about abuse
• if a stranger tries to talk to your child, tell your child to pretend not to hear them and go to you immediately

These two last tips cover all sorts of situations:

• tell your child it is okay to break the rules if they are in danger - encourage your child to yell, kick, scream, lie or run away if they feel they are in danger
• have a code word or sign that only your child and you (and another parent/carer) know. So, for example, if a person approaches your child and says that you've asked them to take the child home, they should be able to say or give the code to your child. Your child will then know that it's safe.